It’s been a rough day. Well, it’s been a rough few days to be honest. T’s behavior is just getting worse…no, that’s not quite precise. When he listens he is really a pretty good kid. Suddenly though, when he really wants something you don’t want him to have/do and you says so, all hell breaks loose. Today I reached the “I’m about to burst into tears and show weakness in front of my 3 year old who just hit and smacked me repeatedly.”
So I put him in time out and called my mom. After 5 minutes of venting and trying to get advice he removd himself from time out and she got to over hear what I’ve been dealing with…including more hitting. Thankfully I was on the phone with her so she could talk me off the ledge of tears again.
After separating myself from him for a little bit I got back to the task at hand -getting out the door so we could run some
errands. He passed out within two blocks. I knew he was tired, but that still doesn’t excuse the behavior.
I’m typing this while at the gym because this is my ultimate time out: working out the stress and being separated from T for a little while. Unfortunately he is somewhat rewarded since he gets socialization and play time, but as it’s my only outlet that doesn’t require a babysitter (i.e. extra money spent) and helps me towards my health goals, it’s really the best “Mommy time out” I can ask for.
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Ok, now we’re home since my phone battery died. Little man is supposed to be in bed, but for the third time he’s just ventured out of his room asking for something. One of those times resulted in another “fit” – and I’m again fighting tears trying to be strong and firm while my heart literally feels as though it’s breaking.
Perhaps his genuine good behavior was just too good to be true? I want to believe that I/we were doing something right back then before he could reason as well and I’m really confused as to why it hasn’t continued?! I can’t finish reading 1-2-3 Magic fast enough. I’m ashamed at how much I now realize in these last 3 days how much I’ve come to depend on Dave’s firmer man-voice to quell a tantrum before it really gets started. I’m happy that at least my version of depression/crazy is the sad, weepy kind and not the angry/violent kind. Isn’t that twisted? I’m sad but happy that I’m sad?
I had to decide to juice this week? THIS week that’s turning into one of those weeks that just demands things like alcohol and wine and all sorts of comforting yummy foods.
It’s been 10 minutes and he’s still in bed…longest stretch so far tonight so I’m thinking as soon as he’s asleep it’s shower and bed for this drained momma and we’re hitting the Y early for another Mommy time out.
*Update* This is enough of a “Wednesday Weather Report” – I think we can all see what kind of week I’ve had!