Growing Pains

This is happening:

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We knew that THIS:

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was happening some time this year. We did not anticipate it happening sooner, but it is. In preparing to deal with it later in the year Dave and I made the heart wrenching decision that I should apply to schools back home in Charleston to see if maybe I could do a nursing program there and have family close for support and help with T. Not surprisingly, this happened:

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Unfortunately, now there are some classes that are “too old”(!!!!!) and I now will have to retake them and a few other “new” prerequisite courses I wasn’t anticipating. This post isn’t about that frustration though, so I won’t get on that soap box…

It means that T and I are moving back to Summerville, for an indefinite amount of time. I.E. until I finish school, whenever that may be. Some of the time Dave will be out of the country, but most of it he will likely be here in sunny San Diego. This will probably be the biggest hardship we have taken on so far, for the betterment of our family’s future.

This morning I tried to explain to T what was going to be happening in the next few weeks. It went something like this:

Me: Hey buddy, what would you think about going and living near Lela and Pop Pop, Mia, Morgan and Elizabeth?

T: Well, we can go visit!! But we can’t live there, we have to come back here because San Diego is our home.

I expect I will be crying a lot the next several weeks…

Categories: Family Time!, Friendship, Growing Pains, Helpful Husbands, Learning, Tarleton | Leave a comment

He’s full of will – not food.

Don’t let that sweet, pout face suck you in…See that perfectly, balanced, healthy meal? He ate the corn. ONLY. Usually he is all about broccoli but for some reason this night’s broccoli was “funny” tasting.

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And those 5 tiny pieces of chicken? The cause of the face. The cause of the retreated stance. And the cause of the resulting tantrum, bottom pop, and immediate bedtime.

To be clear, he did not earn the pop because he didn’t eat. He got that because of his actions during the tantrum. I’m still not completely sure I know why I decided that I was going to put my foot down on this issue. I think it’s because he went to a friend’s house and was willing to try shrimp there but I can’t get him to try a piece of chicken (which tastes a lot like the Dino Chicken nuggets he eats!!!) at our house.

Dave and I have been…ok, well, I have been wondering if we are enabling T’s picky eating/refusal to try new foods. He is a good eater in that he eats really, really healthy foods. Today’s lunch? Peanut-butter sandwich, carrots, cucumbers, kale leaves and some peanut-butter crackers. He even instructed me which compartment each thing went into. He ate some of the kale leaves to be sure they were, in fact, the “salad” that he liked. THEN he grabbed the rest of the cucumber and asked if he could eat it on the way to school… “uh, sure, kiddo.”

We just can’t get him to try new, different things. I got him some “Mickey Mouse” shaped chicken nuggets because they were made with whole grain breading unlike the dino nuggets. He maybe ate them twice before declaring that he didn’t like them at all. Sure enough, I get the dino nuggets and after some initial complaining, he ended up eating two of them. And also let me know that he likes them better withOUT the ketchup.

*smack in the face* Most kids will eat more things when they are covered in ketchup, or ranch dressing. Not, Tarleton.

Why am I complaining? I don’t know. Dave and I kind of think we should stick with what he likes because, well, other than the typical snacky-things (donuts, cupcakes, gummi worms) he eats healthy all by himself. He will say “I don’t like that now, but I will like when I’m bigger. Then I will try it.” So maybe we should just listen to him and let him let us know when he’s ready to branch out. It’s been working so far…he started eating spinach leaves and kale leaves when I started juicing them; he asked to try them instead of putting them in the juicer – and he liked them!! He likes them so much he will pull pieces and eat them before we’ve even paid for them at the store.

So again, I ask, maybe we should just listen to him. We should still ask and offer, but maybe he will try all these new things when he’s a little bigger. In his little world, a little bit bigger is every single day. He could suddenly ask to eat something new and different tomorrow because tomorrow he will be a little bit bigger than today.

Categories: Growing Pains, Helpful Husbands, Learning, Picky Eating, Tantrums, Tarleton | Tags: , , , , | Leave a comment

The Creative, Imaginative, Destructive Child

IMG_0394I don’t know what else to call him. His intelligence stops me in my tracks some times. And please don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to brag here. (Of course I think he’s the smartest, greatest, etc, etc, child in the world!) He just comes up with these logical arguments that are, no kidding, difficult for an adult to dispute without bold face lying.

So now you know. Some times I am FORCED to lie to my child. I try not to, but on occasion “Because I said so” really isn’t a decent enough answer for a 3-year-old. As in, if I were him, getting those answers, I’d keep questioning too.

Back to the main subject though. He is constantly creating games so elaborate that if you don’t pay close attention too all the details (because he always explains to you) and accidentally move one of the “pieces” you will have a full on meltdown on your hands. And then the meltdowns become destructive. Why? We can’t figure it out. Why on earth would he want to destroy his beloved toys? We’re working on getting him to harness his frustration in a less destructive way so he learns early how to deal with his temper. This picture is from a day during our sickness, yes, but it is also the result of a mess, then Mommy demanding he clean up, then him being furious and making more of a mess. It was after this particular incident that because Mommy had to inevitably clean up the room he lost his trains for two full days. The grinch in me wanted to make it a week but we had sitters set up in two days and I didn’t want to completely screw them over.

He’s lost puzzle pieces indefinitely at the moment because he just can’t pull ONE out at a time and play with it properly before we have a full mess of numerous puzzles all mixed up. (Thankfully, they have markers on the back of the pieces so I don’t completely lose my mind and toss them in the trash.) It isn’t because he’s just doing a “52 card pickup” with the pieces. No, he’s using the pieces as “candy” in a game he’s created. Or, he uses them as markers to indicate a new “train station” in a different part of his room (or ours, or the living room, well, hell, the whole freaking house!!) It would be easier to take them away from him if he was just making a mess. But, no, he has a REASON for each piece being where it is. The problem comes when he doesn’t want to pick them up. The reason? Wait for it…

“Mommy, I’m out of energy. I don’t think I can pick them up right now. Maybe after a show I will have more energy.”

Kid.

He hasn’t been super thrilled with Mommy’s and Daddy’s response: “Well, if you don’t have energy then you need to lay in your bed until you have more. With no leap pad, no Mommy’s Nook, no electronics…just lay there and rest and fill back up with energy.”

“Oh, well maybe I have a little energy.”

Categories: Growing Pains, Learning, Tantrums, Tarleton, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Mom’s sick. T’s sick. Dad’s still healthy…so far.

T and I have been sick. A cold, the flu, who knows. (Well, now we know T currently has a double ear infection, and definitely not the flu.) And when I say I’ve been sick, I mean I can’t remember the last time I was this fatigued, coughing, congested, sore and achy and just flat out miserable. Thankfully, T has not had all of my symptoms. I’ve had so many blog ideas in the past ten days but no energy to actually type them up.

But a few minutes ago, I discovered something that I simply could not go without blogging and sharing with all of you who check in to our little place in the world wide web.

There I was laying in bed somewhere in between sleep and consciousness watching a show on my computer. T, I thought, had finally settled on the couch watching Dinosaur Train (his cartoon of choice for our sick time – we’ve seen every episode available on Netflix…twice, I think.) Then he comes into my room and my mom-radar kicks in and I’m awake again.

me: “What’s up, buddy?”

T: “Nothing. I think you should stay in bed until the clock says 8 – 4 – 0”

me: “um, that’s actually a really long time and will be past your bedtime. What’s up?”

T: “Nothing, I just think you should stay in bed until the clock says, um, 6 – 2 – 0”

My intuition kicks in and it dawns on me that T doesn’t want me to get up for a reason. I think he’s snuck out some snacks or something. I get out of bed and he immediately tries to keep me from leaving the room. I’m laughing because, surely this is a game of some sort… Then, I reach the door way and see the following. Intake of breath and immediate covering of my mouth – I back up and get the camera.

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Just in case you can’t quite see the reasoning behind this colossal mess and misuse of good toilet paper: he made train tracks for his trains.

One day when he’s older and has a preschool age child who makes a huge mess, I will dig up these pictures and laugh hysterically at his whines. Until then, he has until the clock reads “5-3-0” to finish playing and then it all gets trashed.

Categories: Growing Pains, Learning, Play Time, Tarleton, Thomas the Train | Tags: , , | Leave a comment

I needed a time out

It’s been a rough day. Well, it’s been a rough few days to be honest. T’s behavior is just getting worse…no, that’s not quite precise. When he listens he is really a pretty good kid. Suddenly though, when he really wants something you don’t want him to have/do and you says so, all hell breaks loose. Today I reached the “I’m about to burst into tears and show weakness in front of my 3 year old who just hit and smacked me repeatedly.”

So I put him in time out and called my mom. After 5 minutes of venting and trying to get advice he removd himself from time out and she got to over hear what I’ve been dealing with…including more hitting. Thankfully I was on the phone with her so she could talk me off the ledge of tears again.

After separating myself from him for a little bit I got back to the task at hand -getting out the door so we could run some
errands. He passed out within two blocks. I knew he was tired, but that still doesn’t excuse the behavior.

I’m typing this while at the gym because this is my ultimate time out: working out the stress and being separated from T for a little while. Unfortunately he is somewhat rewarded since he gets socialization and play time, but as it’s my only outlet that doesn’t require a babysitter (i.e. extra money spent) and helps me towards my health goals, it’s really the best “Mommy time out” I can ask for.

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Ok, now we’re home since my phone battery died. Little man is supposed to be in bed, but for the third time he’s just ventured out of his room asking for something. One of those times resulted in another “fit” – and I’m again fighting tears trying to be strong and firm while my heart literally feels as though it’s breaking.

Perhaps his genuine good behavior was just too good to be true? I want to believe that I/we were doing something right back then before he could reason as well and I’m really confused as to why it hasn’t continued?! I can’t finish reading 1-2-3 Magic fast enough. I’m ashamed at how much I now realize in these last 3 days how much I’ve come to depend on Dave’s firmer man-voice to quell a tantrum before it really gets started. I’m happy that at least my version of depression/crazy is the sad, weepy kind and not the angry/violent kind. Isn’t that twisted? I’m sad but happy that I’m sad?

I had to decide to juice this week? THIS week that’s turning into one of those weeks that just demands things like alcohol and wine and all sorts of comforting yummy foods.

It’s been 10 minutes and he’s still in bed…longest stretch so far tonight so I’m thinking as soon as he’s asleep it’s shower and bed for this drained momma and we’re hitting the Y early for another Mommy time out.

*Update* This is enough of a “Wednesday Weather Report” – I think we can all see what kind of week I’ve had!

Categories: Exercise, Growing Pains, Tantrums, Tarleton, Weather Report | Leave a comment

T got a new bed!

We have been talking and toying with the idea of getting T a new bed for quite a while, but could never quite decide what we wanted. The other evening we were talking about a loft bed again and moving up to a twin size. We looked on IKEA, though Dave’s really not a fan of their furniture, and found the kids’ loft bed that creates a play area under it: pretty much exactly what I really wanted for Teddy. Then we looked on Craigslist and found someone selling it with the mattress – Sweet! Great condition, really nice family, awesome price/deal, and there you go = T got a new bed!

But T’s room is only so big and his train table (a must stay) is a rather large piece of furniture to work around…I moved that bed at least 3 times (which means I moved ALL of his furniture 3 times). I’m pretty sure I like the set up for the moment, though Dave and I want to try and put a book case under the bed so we can make the most of the space created under the loft. Plus, I have this cute little image of T reading in his little hideaway one day. 🙂 The “stairs” work for now, though we were both concerned about night-time movement. The bed has been put together for a week, all but one night of which he’s slept up top (the first night we had the mattress on the floor) and he’s gotten up every night to use the restroom and done just fine climbing out….knock on wood that continues!

I added lights underneath for T to use as his “night light” and it really does add a cool factor to his room. Plus, he got to help me put them up and any time he gets to use tools and help he’s super happy! Here’s how his room is set up for now:

 <– This picture is looking from the door way straight – we had to move the plane mobile for obvious reasons, along with his map. The book case in the corner is the one I really want to be able to remove from the room. Then since we didn’t put the ladder rungs up thinking that we would be keeping the mattress on the floor for a while, the only place I could put this  (—>) thing (bookcase/staircase/storage) was in this location, using it as stairs. It’s working out pretty nicely for the time being. Though Dave is considering some alterations to make it so we can put it under the loft as well for toy storage. Now we have a place to put stuffed animals that don’t have the honor of being on the bed (T has an “entourage” of animals that have to be on the bed with him.) What you can’t see is the hamper full of stuffed animals hanging out in his closet…oh wait, I believe I have a picture of that too! Here shows where I was left to put Teddy’s dresser. I took this the day before I came up with the idea to put the lights underneath the bed. Clearly I was going to have an issue with the lamp cord. For now, his room does seem to be a little crowded, but he’s very happy with the new bed and play area. 🙂

I was surprised that I wasn’t that sad to see his crib/toddler bed taken down…until I saw him laying in the twin sized bed. He looked so big for the toddler bed, and now he just looks like such a little boy. It is hard to believe that he is already three years old, becoming more and more independent. Seeing pieces of his “baby” furniture removed makes this growth all that much more real and tangible.

Despite how ever big he gets, though, he will always be my baby boy. 🙂

Categories: Growing Pains, Tarleton | Tags: , , , , | Leave a comment

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