Learning

This is happening:

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We knew that THIS:

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was happening some time this year. We did not anticipate it happening sooner, but it is. In preparing to deal with it later in the year Dave and I made the heart wrenching decision that I should apply to schools back home in Charleston to see if maybe I could do a nursing program there and have family close for support and help with T. Not surprisingly, this happened:

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Unfortunately, now there are some classes that are “too old”(!!!!!) and I now will have to retake them and a few other “new” prerequisite courses I wasn’t anticipating. This post isn’t about that frustration though, so I won’t get on that soap box…

It means that T and I are moving back to Summerville, for an indefinite amount of time. I.E. until I finish school, whenever that may be. Some of the time Dave will be out of the country, but most of it he will likely be here in sunny San Diego. This will probably be the biggest hardship we have taken on so far, for the betterment of our family’s future.

This morning I tried to explain to T what was going to be happening in the next few weeks. It went something like this:

Me: Hey buddy, what would you think about going and living near Lela and Pop Pop, Mia, Morgan and Elizabeth?

T: Well, we can go visit!! But we can’t live there, we have to come back here because San Diego is our home.

I expect I will be crying a lot the next several weeks…

Categories: Family Time!, Friendship, Growing Pains, Helpful Husbands, Learning, Tarleton | Leave a comment

He’s full of will – not food.

Don’t let that sweet, pout face suck you in…See that perfectly, balanced, healthy meal? He ate the corn. ONLY. Usually he is all about broccoli but for some reason this night’s broccoli was “funny” tasting.

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And those 5 tiny pieces of chicken? The cause of the face. The cause of the retreated stance. And the cause of the resulting tantrum, bottom pop, and immediate bedtime.

To be clear, he did not earn the pop because he didn’t eat. He got that because of his actions during the tantrum. I’m still not completely sure I know why I decided that I was going to put my foot down on this issue. I think it’s because he went to a friend’s house and was willing to try shrimp there but I can’t get him to try a piece of chicken (which tastes a lot like the Dino Chicken nuggets he eats!!!) at our house.

Dave and I have been…ok, well, I have been wondering if we are enabling T’s picky eating/refusal to try new foods. He is a good eater in that he eats really, really healthy foods. Today’s lunch? Peanut-butter sandwich, carrots, cucumbers, kale leaves and some peanut-butter crackers. He even instructed me which compartment each thing went into. He ate some of the kale leaves to be sure they were, in fact, the “salad” that he liked. THEN he grabbed the rest of the cucumber and asked if he could eat it on the way to school… “uh, sure, kiddo.”

We just can’t get him to try new, different things. I got him some “Mickey Mouse” shaped chicken nuggets because they were made with whole grain breading unlike the dino nuggets. He maybe ate them twice before declaring that he didn’t like them at all. Sure enough, I get the dino nuggets and after some initial complaining, he ended up eating two of them. And also let me know that he likes them better withOUT the ketchup.

*smack in the face* Most kids will eat more things when they are covered in ketchup, or ranch dressing. Not, Tarleton.

Why am I complaining? I don’t know. Dave and I kind of think we should stick with what he likes because, well, other than the typical snacky-things (donuts, cupcakes, gummi worms) he eats healthy all by himself. He will say “I don’t like that now, but I will like when I’m bigger. Then I will try it.” So maybe we should just listen to him and let him let us know when he’s ready to branch out. It’s been working so far…he started eating spinach leaves and kale leaves when I started juicing them; he asked to try them instead of putting them in the juicer – and he liked them!! He likes them so much he will pull pieces and eat them before we’ve even paid for them at the store.

So again, I ask, maybe we should just listen to him. We should still ask and offer, but maybe he will try all these new things when he’s a little bigger. In his little world, a little bit bigger is every single day. He could suddenly ask to eat something new and different tomorrow because tomorrow he will be a little bit bigger than today.

Categories: Growing Pains, Helpful Husbands, Learning, Picky Eating, Tantrums, Tarleton | Tags: , , , , | Leave a comment

The Creative, Imaginative, Destructive Child

IMG_0394I don’t know what else to call him. His intelligence stops me in my tracks some times. And please don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to brag here. (Of course I think he’s the smartest, greatest, etc, etc, child in the world!) He just comes up with these logical arguments that are, no kidding, difficult for an adult to dispute without bold face lying.

So now you know. Some times I am FORCED to lie to my child. I try not to, but on occasion “Because I said so” really isn’t a decent enough answer for a 3-year-old. As in, if I were him, getting those answers, I’d keep questioning too.

Back to the main subject though. He is constantly creating games so elaborate that if you don’t pay close attention too all the details (because he always explains to you) and accidentally move one of the “pieces” you will have a full on meltdown on your hands. And then the meltdowns become destructive. Why? We can’t figure it out. Why on earth would he want to destroy his beloved toys? We’re working on getting him to harness his frustration in a less destructive way so he learns early how to deal with his temper. This picture is from a day during our sickness, yes, but it is also the result of a mess, then Mommy demanding he clean up, then him being furious and making more of a mess. It was after this particular incident that because Mommy had to inevitably clean up the room he lost his trains for two full days. The grinch in me wanted to make it a week but we had sitters set up in two days and I didn’t want to completely screw them over.

He’s lost puzzle pieces indefinitely at the moment because he just can’t pull ONE out at a time and play with it properly before we have a full mess of numerous puzzles all mixed up. (Thankfully, they have markers on the back of the pieces so I don’t completely lose my mind and toss them in the trash.) It isn’t because he’s just doing a “52 card pickup” with the pieces. No, he’s using the pieces as “candy” in a game he’s created. Or, he uses them as markers to indicate a new “train station” in a different part of his room (or ours, or the living room, well, hell, the whole freaking house!!) It would be easier to take them away from him if he was just making a mess. But, no, he has a REASON for each piece being where it is. The problem comes when he doesn’t want to pick them up. The reason? Wait for it…

“Mommy, I’m out of energy. I don’t think I can pick them up right now. Maybe after a show I will have more energy.”

Kid.

He hasn’t been super thrilled with Mommy’s and Daddy’s response: “Well, if you don’t have energy then you need to lay in your bed until you have more. With no leap pad, no Mommy’s Nook, no electronics…just lay there and rest and fill back up with energy.”

“Oh, well maybe I have a little energy.”

Categories: Growing Pains, Learning, Tantrums, Tarleton, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Mom’s sick. T’s sick. Dad’s still healthy…so far.

T and I have been sick. A cold, the flu, who knows. (Well, now we know T currently has a double ear infection, and definitely not the flu.) And when I say I’ve been sick, I mean I can’t remember the last time I was this fatigued, coughing, congested, sore and achy and just flat out miserable. Thankfully, T has not had all of my symptoms. I’ve had so many blog ideas in the past ten days but no energy to actually type them up.

But a few minutes ago, I discovered something that I simply could not go without blogging and sharing with all of you who check in to our little place in the world wide web.

There I was laying in bed somewhere in between sleep and consciousness watching a show on my computer. T, I thought, had finally settled on the couch watching Dinosaur Train (his cartoon of choice for our sick time – we’ve seen every episode available on Netflix…twice, I think.) Then he comes into my room and my mom-radar kicks in and I’m awake again.

me: “What’s up, buddy?”

T: “Nothing. I think you should stay in bed until the clock says 8 – 4 – 0”

me: “um, that’s actually a really long time and will be past your bedtime. What’s up?”

T: “Nothing, I just think you should stay in bed until the clock says, um, 6 – 2 – 0”

My intuition kicks in and it dawns on me that T doesn’t want me to get up for a reason. I think he’s snuck out some snacks or something. I get out of bed and he immediately tries to keep me from leaving the room. I’m laughing because, surely this is a game of some sort… Then, I reach the door way and see the following. Intake of breath and immediate covering of my mouth – I back up and get the camera.

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Just in case you can’t quite see the reasoning behind this colossal mess and misuse of good toilet paper: he made train tracks for his trains.

One day when he’s older and has a preschool age child who makes a huge mess, I will dig up these pictures and laugh hysterically at his whines. Until then, he has until the clock reads “5-3-0” to finish playing and then it all gets trashed.

Categories: Growing Pains, Learning, Play Time, Tarleton, Thomas the Train | Tags: , , | Leave a comment

One of the coolest days ever!

Everyone has a list of events in their lives that fight for the rank “Coolest” ever; today is definitely a contender (after the birth of Tarleton, getting married, college graduation, etc).

I have always, ALWAYS wanted to fly in a bi-plane. You know, open air, old school, double wings – the type you see flying around when you’re at the beach and think,”Man, that would be so cool to get a chance to fly in one!”

(I’m almost so excited, still!, that I can hardly type coherently. I just want to squeal some more!)

A while back my awesome, super, wonderful, amazing aviator husband had to do an air show at a municipal air field in San Diego. No big deal. While there he met a gentleman who owns a plane and lives in a hangar at the air field. Yes, you read that right. At this airport people can LIVE in their hangers; and I’ve seen a few of these places, they are amazing homes! Anyhoo, in Dave’s friendly way, he made friends with this man who introduced him to some other people, one of whom owns a Stearman (bi-plane). Around Dave’s birthday he happened to be visiting his friend and while having lunch discovered that as a “gift” he was going to get a ride in the Stearman. Knowing I would be beyond green with envy he immediately started trying to figure out when I could get a ride.

Few months later here we are, and here I am writing this still giddy with excitement!

It.Was.SO.COOL!!

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Yes, I flew it for a little bit. Yes, we did loops and a maneuver called the hammer-head. I FLEW ONE OF THE LOOPS. And I squealed and laughed and yelled the whole time. 😉

It was an awesome reminder to be so appreciative of the life we have and live it to the fullest. Fear will always be a part of your life, but it will only hold you back as much as you let it.

Categories: Family Time!, Friendship, Helpful Husbands, Learning | Tags: , , , | 1 Comment

Has it really been two months?

I promise we haven’t been hiding out. Well, not all of us anyway…

Some of the time has been legitimately busy, but some of my absence has been just because I’m in a funk: a waiting around for news about school funk. They said the end of October and we’re now into mid November. Waiting around for any kind of news is stressful. I tend to withdraw from the world (or try to) when I want to avoid facing reality. In this case, I want to avoid facing the reality that I probably didn’t get in again and the future of nursing school is still in limbo.

But after a fun weekend with lots of laughing it dawned on me that I’m missing out on the little things in life when I don’t allow myself to be fully present, body and mind. I have started up with a new therapist – though the jury is still out on her; I definitely do not feel the same connection I did with my previous one here in SD. I want to maintain this blog because it, frankly, gives me something to do with my thoughts and time. 😉 AND I’ve decided to find some place to volunteer when T is in school.

Oh yeah, T started preschool and I’m loving it! He has yet to ever say he doesn’t want to go, he loves his teacher and evidently he has a lot of fun. I think it’s hilarious when he tries to “act out” school things with me. For instance, he will come up to me and say “Mommy, I need to ask you a question. What can you tell me about driving in a car?” and he will have his little notebook and crayon with him so he can write down my responses. It is just too cute. He is a pretty smart little guy, though at times his cleverness is used for less than acceptable behaviors and lead to time outs. More often than not Dave and I are walking away completely impressed by T’s reasoning, even if we still had to issue a correct punishment. We anticipate some pretty interesting teenage years with this one. 😉

In any case, I have woken up today hopeful to get my emotions back on track. I feel prepared for whatever email may arrive. And with that, time to get back on track with blog posts!

Categories: Helpful Husbands, Learning, Post Partum Depression | Tags: , | Leave a comment

The sleeping dragon…

We’ve woken a sleeping dragon. Two of them actually. One is play doh and the other is video games.

At the beginning of the week T played with his new play doh for about 45 mins each day. 45 whole minutes!!! BY HIMSELF! Yes, I help him open the lids of the colors he wants and I check in on him regularly (play doh in our house is only played with outside of the house.) I even let him use my rolling pin because he thinks it makes play doh even cooler to play with…

But play-doh isn’t the only thing T discovered this week, he also discovered Super Mario Bros. Ok, he discovered them a couple of weeks ago when we were searching through our rather vast collection of Wii games for something he could play (i.e. an Elmo game that TEACHES while he plays – shocking how good he is at it…but I digress). I loved Mario Bros when I was younger. It was pretty much the only Nintendo games I could play and I remember whining to my parents that my brothers wouldn’t share the Nintendo with me because  by the time I could play Mario they had beaten it and thought it was boring and lame. (AND no one wanted to play Mario Kart with me because I would get REALLY upset when they beat me EVERY.SINGLE.TIME.)

Point is, I get T’s new infatuation. I get it. But it has become somewhat of an obsession, overnight. And that worries Dave and me. I’m talking “NOOOO I can’t go to sleep because we need to save the princess” kind of fits. “NOOOOOO I don’t want to stop playing and do something else.” But here’s the thing – T isn’t the one playing, I am. The game is essentially Super Mario Bros but newer and more complicated and more computerized. You hold the Wii remote as you would the old school remote and that does make it easier for a 3 year old, but the fact remains that the game is above his level. (Elmo isn’t!!) So Mommy plays. Mommy has calluses forming on her thumbs because she hasn’t played video games in so long. Mommy has been giving in to playing for 30 minute stretches because that old obsessive “must.beat.this.level.before.I.stop.” has kicked in. (I’m not joking about how much I loved playing Mario…)

Playing games with your child is good. But we’ve been really happy with how well rounded Teddy has been, naturally, with the things he enjoys doing. He loves being outside, getting a little dirty, helping in everything we do, building blocks, etc. He loves his LeapPad, but has *on his own* stopped playing and gone to do something else non-computerized.

Yesterday evening after I decided my thumbs couldn’t take any more, I decided that we would simply have to create new boundaries with this new “video game” discovery. I figure, if we start from now, he’ll learn from now that sitting all day long trying to beat a video game is not okay.

This all started when I remember we had all these games and Dave found a racing car one and got obsessed for a few days and T played with him a few times. T-Rex asked for the race car game and we found a Cars one but that was too hard and then he saw this colorful Mario one…and I thought, well Mario is harmless (as far as bad words and violence go) so why not (because I LOVED Mario so much as a kid) and now…ugh.

He’s not awake yet and I just know the first thing he’s going to say after “Good Morning” is “Mommy we have to beat the monster and save the princess!!”

*Update: he woke up almost exactly as I typed that and said: “I woke up mommy. Can we play Mario and save the princess now?”

Oy.

Mario Time!

Categories: Family Time!, Learning, Play Time, Tarleton, Video Games | Tags: , , , , , | Leave a comment

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